How Connected Do You Feel to How You Spend Your Money?
I recently had the privilege of teaching part of a class on generosity. My role was to help participants think about how to plan with their money so they could practice generosity more intentionally.
It was an interesting task because the group was fairly diverse. My main point was simple: your money needs to be clear and visible so you know what you can actually spend—whether that’s toward charitable giving, a vacation, or something else entirely. The principle is always the same.
While the class was well received, a few participants really wanted to focus on tracking every tiny detail of their budgets and categorizing each expense perfectly. If you know me, you know that’s not usually my approach. I don’t love getting overly detailed about day-to-day expense categories because I think there’s a bigger question worth asking:
How connected do you feel to the way you spend your money?
Once you understand your fixed expenses and the larger “whammies” you need to save for, what’s left? And more importantly, how can you make what you do with that money feel meaningful? How can you actually enjoy spending money?
It really comes down to what you value as an individual or couple. What aligns with what you love and what brings you joy?
Spending often feels “right” when it supports an identity, priority, or value you care deeply about. And there are hundreds of possible values! What matters to one person may not matter at all to someone else.
For me, one thing I deeply value is cleanliness and order in my home. Because of that, paying for a housekeeper to clean my home once a month brings me an incredible amount of joy! I never regret spending that money because it supports something that genuinely matters to me.
I often say, “You can have anything, but you can’t have everything.” I’m not sure whether I made that up or borrowed it from someone else, but it’s so true!
What you value will likely look very different from what someone else values. The important thing is learning what truly matters to you and being willing to spend intentionally in those areas while cutting back on the things that don’t add meaning, joy, or value to your life.
(Of course, some expenses are simply part of life. You still have to pay the power bill. But imagine how sad you’d be without electricity!)
The goal of budgeting isn’t perfection, it’s connection!
When your spending aligns with your values, money stops feeling like something you constantly manage and starts becoming a tool that supports the life you actually want to live.
If you’ve been feeling disconnected from your money, or unsure where it’s all going, you’re not alone. Sometimes a few simple shifts and a clearer picture can make a huge difference.
When you understand what’s available, it becomes so much easier to spend with confidence, enjoy your money without guilt, and prioritize the things that matter most to you.
If you’d like support creating a plan that aligns your spending with your values and gives you more clarity around your money, I’d love to help! Reply to this email or book a free Q&A call at https://www.chandlerfinancialcoaching.com/.
Warmly,
Melanie
